Friday, May 8, 2009

My emotional roller coaster

I am enjoying my sister's visit a lot. We have been running around back and forth, shopping here, going to the beach there, it kept me distracted really well. I really wish she could stay a little longer, I don't know what to do with myself when I am alone. When I have time to think, worries and fear creep up upon me and won't leave me alone. These days, fear is what greets me good morning and tells me good night. I cannot stand it. On a thyroid cancer forum I read about a person whose cancer spread to her lungs and skull. Until then I never really considered spread much and now I am worried even more (if that is possible at all). I don't want to be a worrier, I need to be a warrior!!!

As far as my appointment goes, I have an appointment at MD Anderson on May 20, they will do another ultrasound and bloodworks. On the 21 I will see Doctor Grubb, I am hoping and praying that he will be able to tell me more and give me a surgery date. They need to get going on this, it seems every day I feel that thing more and it's driving me nuts!

I can't believe how much for the worse this year has changed for us. I started out so great with me finding a job, getting LASIK done, getting a car, my license, working a lot... Jim and me were very happy. Then, my boss at work pretty much turned into satan until I couldn't take it anymore and quit. And then we were not able to get the house we wanted, which was a big blow. The owner's asking price was more than the appraised value of the house and he was not willing to go down a single cent. Just yesterday I learned that there is an option pending on this house, meaning someone else is in the process of buying it. GRRRRRRRRR!!! And then, I got this stupid, stupid, stupid cancer diagnosis. Not sure if I am more pissed off about this or if it just scares the daylight out of me. I think it's a mixture of both...

It's time for those to sleepyheads to rise and shine! I hope today will be just as nice. Jim doesn't have to work today, so we will be able to do something together. Everyone who reads this have a great weekend! I'll put on pictures soon.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aerger Dich nicht uebers Haus, das naechste das Ihr findet ist bestimmt viel schoener!!!
Und ueberhaupt- jetzt aerger Dich nicht ueber sowas sondern mach Dir einen schoenen Tag mit Jim und sammel Kraft!!!
Ich drueck Dich!
Agnes

Patrizia said...

Enjoy the weekend with your family and try to think about other things in life and enjoy it as much as you can. Hugs
Patty

San said...

Jules,

also als allererstes hörst Du jetzt mal auf im Internet zu lesen: das kann einen nämlich auch nur bekloppt machen. Ich nehme doch mal an, dass Dein Arzt das
Ganze etwas forcieren würde, wenn es ganz dringend ist... vielleicht sind die Krebszellen ja auch "langsam wachsend" (so war das bei meiner Freundin mit dem Gehirntumor und die musste auch mehrere Wochen auf die OP warten)

Schön, dass Du heute etwas mit Jim unternehmen kannst und dass die Zeit mit Deiner Schwester doch so schön war!
Es kann nur aufwärts gehen - auch für euch beide privat und mit dem Haus...

Drück Dich,
San

Sandra W. said...

Vielleicht solltest du dem genannten Forum erstmal fern bleiben und erst nach deinen ganzen Terminen und OP mal wieder reinschaun.
Wuensche euch einen schoenes Wochenende!
LG
Sandra

Danii said...

The more you read the more it will creep you out! Lass es gut sein mit diesen Krebsforen! Du bist im Anfangsstadium und man arbeitet an einem OP Termin. Darauf solltest Du Dich konzentieren und Deine Kraft nicht mit "aber was, wenn..." verschwenden.
Das mit dem Haus tut mir wirklich sehr leid, aber vielleicht hat es jetzt einfach nicht sollen sein. Kopf hoch, jedes negative hat auch sein positives! *hug*
Geniess die Zeit mit Deiner Schwester und enjoy the weekend mit hubby und co.